My favorite haiku that doesn’t really qualify as a haiku but I still like to call it a haiku
Lucy Liu as Kitty Baxter in Chicago
If there’s a prize for rotten judgement, I guess I’ve already won that.
when your parents tell you your relatives are coming over.
heres a fun fact that shows a lot about me: im pretty allergic to bananas but didn’t know it at all growing up until one day when i was like 17 i was like “man, i love bananas. theyre always so tangy and make ur mouth all tingly” and my friend was like “thats. definitley not what a banana is supposed to be like” one doctors trip later, turns out im fucking allergic to bananas.
someone catfish me plz so i can get on Mtv and promote my mixtape
drake helps josh w/ a crush
drake & josh accidentally sell an orangutan to a man who eats orangutans
a mix for urban witches; who breathe in smoke and exhaust and breathe out magic, who love the city like a familiar, whose veins are laced with starlight and nightshade and neon. [ l i s t en ]
i. la la la song - ahs: coven | ii.i put a spell on you - joss stone | iii. jag vet en dejlig rosa - robyn | iv. climbing up the walls - radiohead | v. where the boats go - M83 | vi. ash tree lane - MS MR | vii. custom car crash - calla | viii. moon and moon - bat for lashes | ix. seekir - zola jesus | x. alone in kyoto - air | xi. house of the rising sun - lauren o’connell | xii. gallows - cocorosie | xiii. cosmic love (acoustic) - florence + the machine | xiv. child i will hurt you - crystal castles | xv. cry little sister - gerard mcmann | xvi. walking on air - kerli | xvii. in the room where you sleep - dead man’s bones | xviii. sam - massive attack
These are good!
i changed my okcupid profile to say “you should message me if you know any good jokes about giraffes” and someone responded “you, a baby, and a giraffe walked into a bar, and then you walked out with me! ;) ;)” and i’m so angry because that doesn’t even make sense, there is ZERO adherence to structural joke norms, why the fuck is the baby there? did we leave the baby at the bar? jesus christ, did we fucking leave the baby with the fucking giraffe, that is NOT RESPONSIBLE
I told my mom I didn’t wanna go to the store with her
I’m genuinely so tired of feeling like an eleven year old dumb butch tom boy like I am gonna be sixteen in less than 6 hours like ???? Waiting for this garbage phase to end
The only thing going down on me is my GPA